Busy Blue Eyes

Embarassment

2009-11-16T08:56:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I inadvertently figured out how to embarrass my dad. For those who know him, this feat is a marvel and all the more amusing because it was accomplished on his turf. While exploring our local massive outdoor flea market searching for unique finds among the garbage/hispanic novelty items/imported knock-offs/old stuff, I found a few intriguing items. Most sellers had piles of stuff all over their tables, in boxes, and scattered on the ground that buyers could dig through (kind of like a dirty treasure hunt). In the bottom of one of the boxes I spotted what looked like an upside down white enameled metal bowl of some sort - I pulled out one of these:

I struck gold again at the same booth just a few minutes later with what looked like a pretty white flower pot. This time however I had a tiny little voice in the back of my mind saying "Girl, you know what that thing really is," while another voice responded "Yes, but wouldn't it look nice filled with flowers or potpourri!" The aforementioned paternal mortification resulted from my rather loud query of "Can anyone tell me what exactly this is?" It was at this point that all of the old men around me stopped and stared. Let me give you a clearer picture of this scenario: I (a 20-something respectably dressed young lady) am standing behind an old diesel truck that has disgorged it diverse contents (likely accumulated from several estate sales) onto tables and the ground around me. The display is manned by four slightly smelly dirty old men, all of whom are wearing at least one item of camouflage clothing. I am asking this innocent-sounding question while pointing at one of these:

The loud silence combined with a nervous chuckle and "Aww man, y'all gonna make me answer that?" from the gentleman standing next to me, confirmed my worst suspician. "Oooh, so that is a chamber pot then! I though so, but just wanted to be sure......I need to go wash my hands now" said I. The best part comes however when we had walked away and my dad says something like "I can't believe you actually asked that!!!" I would like to say that he was not entirely thrilled by how amusing I found his feelings to be.

However, the story does not end there. In an impressive attempt, I managed to go 3-for-3. At another booth I spotted what looked like a melted old milk bottle, and again asked what it was. This time the seller didn't even bother to answer - the ancient old man just gave me a look while my dad covers his face and walks away, exclaiming "UGH, Jamie, not again!!" Unfortunately this time it took me a little while to catch on, although I'm still not sure why a urinal really needs to have ounce measurements marked on the side:

I think the entire situation was hilarious, HE thinks I should have been embarrassed right along with him. Nope, not going to happen, I refuse to be embarrassed for asking silly questions - I like being able to laugh at myself, it keeps things not-so-serious in Jamie-land. And besides, they were cool looking, maybe I should go back and buy them. Wouldn't it be a great conversation starter at my next dinner party to have a urinal, chamber pot, and bed pan displayed on a shelf together? Just imagine:

Guest: "Oh my, Jamie you have quite the collection."
Me: "Yes, I know, you wouldn't believe how difficult it was to track down these family heirlooms. The fact that my great-great grandparents spent so much time with these personal items makes them infinitely more special for us. Would you like to hold one?"

Full Moon

2009-11-11T10:59:00.000-08:00

This video definitely falls under the category of "funny enough now to keep around and embarrass her with later." We were out having a late dinner on our quick road trip to IKEA last night when we noticed that there was a full moon occurring at our table. Lil miss had pulled her pants down and was wiggling her butt. Thankfully we were in a deserted section of the restaurant, not because of her partial nudity, but because we would have really disturbed others with our cackles of amusement. The hilarity results from what she was saying to Daddy while rubbing her bum against his arm...here's the only clip I could manage to get once we restored our table's G rating.

(you might have to turn your volume all the way up to hear what she's saying)

Can You Spot The Mouse?

2009-11-10T05:02:00.000-08:00

Guess what! We're soooo excited to announce that we have finally succumbed to the marketing schemes of one the largest and most entrenched American business machines of today. Yay for us!! No really, we actually are excited, because we're going to Disney World for spring break this year :) Joe, Mom, and I all intend to participate in the "Give A Day, Get A Day" promotion that is occurring next year. Disney is offering one free day of park admission in exchange for a day of volunteer service with any participating organization. I think this is an awesome opportunity on to get involved in some local charity work (please remember that I am a proud alumni of Gamma Sigma Sigma, a sorority dedicated to service) and save some serious $$ when we go to Disney World. Additionally, Gillian will be about two and half weeks shy of her third birthday, so she'll still be a bit young for the experience by my reckoning, but at least everything for her will be free.

How do we know that she is old enough to really enjoy herself and that it isn't a waste of time that she won't remember? Well, aside from her obvious Disney princess fever/brain washing...which has been marketed so relentless to little girls nowadays (I swear we've been pointlessly trying to prevent it)....there was one particularly illuminating event. While driving one evening, I hear a shriek of excitement from the backseat, closely followed by a barely coherent round of finger-pointing, screeches of "Mickey, Mickey!!", and all of the squirming and bouncing a child safety device's restraints will permit. After quickly scanning the cars around us looking for bumper sticker or visible toy, I spotted the mouse..can you?

Believe it or not, it's actually MUCH easier to spot Mickey in this picture than it was that day. I still can't believe that she saw it from her car seat. I think she's ready.

Oh, and she'd better remember it, if only through pictures, because we'll be snapping those away like lunatics and someone will have a camcorder attached to their face. Hey, we're just trying to blend in.

2009-11-06T06:51:00.000-08:00

I know, I know....we've been neglecting the blog. *Hugs* to all of the far away friends and family who've been pestering us about it :P

Trendsetter

2009-11-06T06:32:00.000-08:00

I'd like to think that a fashion scout for Walmart just happened to spot us Trick-or-Treating last year, and thought "Eureka!"

Toilet Seat Discussion..Revisted

2009-07-13T13:27:00.001-07:00

Please disregard the previous post.

Joe will no longer be gloating that he has won the toilet seat up/down battle. He has in fact, lost that fight.

You see......he left the seat up this morning. And unfortunately, the little two-year old trying her hardest to be a good girl and go in the big girl potty all by herself, didn't get the memo about looking behind her before she backed up. Poor thing was soaked up to her armpits!

What mommy can't accomplish, daddy's little princess sure as heck can.

The toilet seat stays down! Score one for the ladies!

One for the Good Guys

2009-06-08T08:27:00.000-07:00

It's me again *waves* with another one of my class portfolio writings that my wife finds amusing.

Gentleman your attention please! What I am about to tell you is a first, and must be told to all men. So listen closely and spread the Word. I have won the toilet seat argument with my wife. I know… take all the time you need. Yes it’s true I won the argument through logic and I am going to tell you how you can take this victory home with you as well. My logic is this: I have to put the toilet seat up everytime it needs to go up. So I am doing all of the work putting it up. She only puts it down. Sounds fair yeah… but there are times when I must put it down as well so I am doing part of the work to put it down too. Therefore, I am doing all of the up work and some of the down work, and she is only doing some of the down work. Doesn’t sound fair anymore. If we are to have an equal amount of work in this, toilet seat movements or marriage, then she needs to handle the down work without complaining all the time. And if you get yelled at about her “falling in” ask her “You look behind you when you back up in a car don’t you? Why the Hell wouldn’t you look behind you with your pants around your ankles?” Just don’t expect her to be enthusiastic about your reasoning, or to openly acknowledge that you’re right – that’s a whole different battle.

More Than We Baragined For

2009-06-04T07:33:00.000-07:00

**Warning, if you're easily offended read no further. If however, you'd find an extensive list of English colloquialisms for the human mammary glands to be entertaining, then by all means read on...**

It is a testament to Joe's training as a husband that it took me making a comment for him to even notice. After a few hours of exploring the Carnival Imagination on our recent cruise I said something like "Well this is just entirely inappropriate!" Which of course got a "Huh?" from Joe, who promptly began looking around for something inappropriate (like an 4 year old wearing a string bikini). Since he obviously had no idea what I was talking about, I pointed to the sphinx statues that adorned ALL of the decorative columns on every floor of the ship. "They didn't need to include anatomically correct boobies on them! They even have nipples, and they're at eye-level. How would I explain to Nana that I'd poked out my eye on a statue's bazoombas?!" Sure enough everywhere we went inside the ship, and I do mean everywhere, there were impressive sets of gold chesticles staring back at us. We stopped counting at 73. I wanted to blind fold Gillian and complain to customer service that they should warn people that this is an X-rated boat. Just imagine if you had an adolescent son and you brought him on this ship! That many ever-present knockers would be sure to cause trouble. Heck, traveling with a grown man was challenge enough - I'm proud of my hubby for limiting his cha-cha jokes to just a handful, and even resisting the temptation to fondle the gazongas for a photo that I'm sure would have been priceless for years to come (sadly many other men did not restrain themselves thusly). The really sad part is that even a married mother can be reduced to crude potty humor when she has had one too many fruity drinks and there are that many hooters staring at her....that's one picture you'll never see, lol!!

So consider yourself forewarned: generous yahoos aplenty!

Oh and one more thing.......the absolute worst part is that, upon closer examination..all of the statues' had the gold paint rubbed off of the nipples! *shudder*

Now, if you're curious to see what I'm talking about, go here http://www.flickr.com/photos/ilovecoffeeyesido/2414757070/ to look at a picture someone else took...cuz I just couldn't bring myself to be seen in public taking a picture of a statue's ta-tas.

Other entertaining synonyms not included in this post: rack, ninnies, melons, titties, hood ornaments, funbags, bosoms, badoinkies, goombas, flapdoodles, jahoobies, magambos, dinglebobbers, ...and of course breasts

The Sound of Orange

2009-05-29T09:25:00.000-07:00

(Two posts in one day, and one from the elusive Joe! I know, I know, it's very exciting. Now please, calm down, I think you just tinkled on yourself a little. This is a portfolio writing from my composition class that Jamie has been bugging me to post.)

Based on a True Story

Soft. Warm. Comfortable. Snuggled deep into an overstuffed king-size goose down comforter, contentedly sleeping away the last few minutes of my blissful slumber. The past twenty minutes of “Joey get up!” have done their job and chiseled away at my unconscious mind until I groggily mutter something along the lines of “…need more sleep.” Now, the beautiful woman I love and adore who has birthed the most gorgeous little girl and tolerated my sloth for the better part of a decade, is running late this morning. I, who really should have been up twenty minutes ago, am slightly behind schedule as well.
SHREIK!! I snap to full consciousness as my lovely wife, who is one of the most talented sopranos I have ever heard, wails in a voice with pitch and tone that would make a dog uncontrollably wet itself and would make a banshee weep, “You have to leave in ten minutes!” As I hurriedly dress her voice continues to erode even the faintest memory of the pleasantness I was enjoying just seconds ago. I take a moment to clear the cobwebs from my disoriented mind, but this disembodied voice that is following my wonderful spouse is relentless, and if not for the accompaniment of occasional dirty looks to punctuate her complaints, it would be difficult to convince me that it is my wife actually speaking. It is at this point that I inform her that again I will not be keeping our standing lunch date in lieu of a much needed nap.
The destruction of Pompeii at the hands of Mt. Vesuvius pales in comparison to the explosive tirade launched at me. I know you’ve heard all the rumors and myths about redheads, but let me tell you that the reality is far, far scarier. I ended up keeping our lunch date.

I am the Rain Man

2009-05-29T08:46:00.000-07:00

No, no, not in the autistic savant way. I am referring to the perpetually precipitation-plagued personage that is me (or is it "that is I"...I dunno, just appreciate my splendid example of gratuitous alliteration!) We just got back from an extremely spontaneous vacation to Florida and the Bahamas. It was tons of fun if you can overlook one very important fact: it rained every flippin day! I'm completely serious, it rained at home for a week, then followed me to Florida, the entire cruise, the drive home, and now it's still drizzling here at home again. I noticed that while on this kind of damp vacation, it's awful hard to:
1) figure out what to wear - it's hot outside, but all those cute summery outfits become surprisingly transparent when they get soaked
2) explain to a two year old why she can't run free on a cruise ship like she does at home (cuz no matter how many strangers say "oh look, she's sooooo precious," someone will still give you the stink eye for not putting your child on a leash)
3) have some adult fun time while stuck in your tiny cabin with that little one glaring at you resentfully from a rickety porta-crib
4) talk the child into staying in her stroller...which is definitely not waterproof
5) hear they other passengers talk enthusiastically about the two waterspouts/tornados they took pictures of today while at sea, and contain your own abundant excitement
6) share one small umbrella among three people
7) not gain twenty pounds when eating is the only interesting thing to do
8) answer questions like "How was your vacation?"

We did have fun though, and now that we're back I'll be posting some pictures and hopefuly even some video.

Time Flies

2009-03-22T09:37:00.000-07:00

Apparently another year passed when I wasn't looking, and now it's too late to put a rock on her head to keep her from growing (I honestly thinks she likes to do it...like when I turn my back, and she concentrates real hard.....making that face that makes me think we need to run for the potty..... and SQQUIRPP! up she goes another 1/2 inch). To honor the occasion we are going to have a birthday party, where we will attempt to keep our sanity while entertaining 10-15 children all under the age of 4 (if I'm singing 'I'm A Little TeaPot' and combing my hair hair with a spork on Monday, well then..you know what happened). It's going to be in a picninc shelter at a lovely little park nearby, and if you are reading this (with a child under the age of 4 you claim ownership of ) and still haven't replied to my invitation...get with it!

How Do I Hang This On The Fridge?

2009-03-04T12:13:00.000-08:00

I am so very glad that these wash off easily. The hard part is explaining to an almost-2 year old the difference between a bath tub wall and a living room wall :)

First Snow

2009-03-01T17:47:00.000-08:00

This is the first time it has snowed since we bought our house :) If it sticks, we're going to take her to play in the snow for another first tomorrow.

What I Would Give to Have Been There

2009-02-27T07:17:00.001-08:00

Yes, that is a picture of a Christmas wreath...and yes, it is still hanging on our front door in February. In my defense, it doesn't have the big bow on it anymore which makes it just a 'winter' wreath in my mind; and since our homeowners' association says we can only have seasonal door decor, I'm pretty sure that I can get away with it for another week or two (unless the weather stays this nice).

What I would have killed to have witnessed is my husband's reaction as he looked out our peephole this morning. He has a habit of doing that, which I just don't understand. I mean there's a window right there - unless you're trying to be sneaky and spy on someone..which is what he did I guess. Apparently when he peeped out the peephole, there was someone peeping right back at him..a bird! I can just imagine the way he jerked back and wondered who was uttering that sissy-girl scream if it wasn't his round-eyed daughter? (who promptly decides the door is 'bad'...oh the intolerable cuteness!) Apparently my realistic wreath is the cool bird hangout, I guess it's too bad for them that the spring wreath going up next isn't nearly so comfy.

P.S. - On a side note I guess it's not so weird that Joe peeks out the door whenever he walks by. It might have been useful if he'd spotted the person STEALING our car's front license plate. We didn't realize it was gone until he got a parking ticket for not displaying it. It's interesting to speculate about the uses the thief could have for a single license plate, possibly using it in a robbery, as wall art, or maybe as a really cool cookie sheet.

Rock Star Baby

2009-02-20T11:55:00.000-08:00

(she put the sunglasses, hat, and tiara on all by herself....this makes me worry about her future fashion choices in kindergarten when she insists on dressing herself)

So I finally gave in and bought Joe a new game system. I wasn't planning on it since he just started his first semester of college (full-time too!), but I felt obligated. You see, Joe committed what he considers to be one of the ultimate sacrifices this past Christmas:

Joe is a gamer, a hard core gets-lost-in-them-for-hours kind of gamer. They came up with the title "Ever Quest widows" for women who are married to men like Joe (just insert name of his current black hole/game). In the past, I have actually asked him to get ready to go to the store while he was playing, got frustrated with the "Ummhumm.....just let me get to a save point baby," left, gone to the store, and arrived back home in time to be greeted with "Ok, I'm ready to....oh $@#*, you already went ......I'm in trouble, right?" The advice most people give: if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Sadly, I am the worst gamer on the entire planet. For those who understand, I can't get past world 1-2 in the original Mario bros. My coordination is so poor that my consumate gamer spouse threw his hands up in frustration years ago. Since he can't control his addiction and I can't think of anything more *fun* than spending a few hours getting sore thumbs, I have ignored his pleas for the latest game system for almost a decade now. That is, until the introduction of the Nintendo Wii. Advertised as a game platform for the unskilled masses, it sounded like the perfect way to meet in the middle and actually spend some quality time with Joe doing what he loves (making it less likely that he'll bail on the 'us' time as soon as I turn my back). So I bought him one for Christmas. It was difficult to get my hands on, but it was going to be a complete surprise. And it was...when I told him that we were going to have to return his best-present-ever to the store because we couldn't justify spending that much on a gift when money was so tight. And I'll be darned if that poor man didn't go and return his own Christmas present, with minimal sulking too!

So, to make it up to him, I saved up enough money and went out one night in January to buy him another Wii. After going to several stores I found one, along with the game he desperately wanted (Guitar Hero). I set it all up as a surprise waiting for him when he got home from work. And it is AWESOME! We have so much fun, I'm even ok with how much I still manage to suck at these silly games.

Now getting to point of this post. Gillian has received many electronic games in her short life. They involve hooking a controller designed for babies up to a TV, and helping them play games that 'teach' them something. Well Gilli never really watched TV when she was younger, so these games don't even hold her attention for 30 sec (making them useless junk as far as Mommy is concerned). The only reason we even still have them is because a few of the controllers themselves have entertainment value. A big, bouncy horse controller works as just a big,bouncy horse. **Yes, there really is a full size bouncy horse that doubles as a game remote** Maybe she'll be more interested when she gets older, but for now, she has decided that the Wii is the COOLEST NEW TOY EVER. Needless to say, Daddy is not in the least bit thrilled with his Gilli-Monster's tendency to hide Wii bits all over the house (oh but it's so fun to watch, let me tell you! talk about karma :). She also actually understands that the action of the remote affects the image on the TV, so I decided to teach her to play. Unfortunately there are no games available for the under 2 set, and the ones that we do have just frustrated her. Until one night....as I was practicing the vocals on Guitar Hero she came up to me and indicated that she wanted the microphone. I handed it to her and proceeded to watch in stunned amazement as my 21 month old little girl made it thru an entire Bon Jovi song without getting boo'ed off stage. Admittedly, it was set on beginner but she was dancing around singing/screeching like the little rock star baby Joe always says she is. If I can figure out how to get the video off my camera and post it, you'll all get to see how funny she is.

2009-01-19T10:58:00.000-08:00

I Fell Off the Face of the Earth

2008-12-01T13:48:00.000-08:00

(did anyone even notice?)

Yes, I know I disappeared for a while, but with so MANY things happening around here I've been too busy lately....ok, well I was actually being more than just a little lazy. But here are just a few quick updates:
- the semester is almost over!!
- our holiday housewarming party is scheduled for Dec 20 (be there or be tortured with a spoon)
- Gillian learned how to say 'no' (and what it means as well, which is definitely the most annoying part)
- my friend Taralyn got into med school and is expecting baby #2 (yay tara! -> check out her blog over at SowbyIt)
- I have head injury and Halloween pictures to post in my next few blog entries (that's correct, you read it right! graphic pediatric head injuries that are completely unrelated to the adorable pediatric costume)

P.S. - Since several of my favorite bloggers have been employing the use of the much-abused literary device known as the 'post script' recently, I think I'll jump on the bandwagon. The other day while driving in the car I accidentally re-enacted one of Taralyn's infamous blog entries (you know, the one where she says funny things like "so THAT's how hot air balloons work!" on a first date). Joey had remarked upon seeing a squirrel's nest up in the trees, when my head abruptly snaps around and I utter something like "squirrels make nests?! like up in trees?" After trying to asphyxiate himself, he managed to inquire after just where I thought that squirrels lived. I responded with "in holes in the tree trunk, right?" And then that dear sweet man of mine kindly muffled his chortles of laughter and kept his remarks limited to things like
"hah hah...Disney...hehe...PhD....ahem"

All Little Girls Love Horses

2008-10-08T10:45:00.000-07:00

We took Gillian to the State Fair this weekend here in Richmond. Her Uncle Justin came along with us and helped to entrench a new bad habit that Miss Gilli has been working on recently. She has apparently taken an intense dislike to highchairs/strollers/other restraint devices; so loudly in fact that our outings have been cut down because Mommy doesn't like being accused of torturing her by strangers. They may not say it out loud, but those looks say a million snide little things. So how did Daddy and Uncle Justin aid and abet the Gilli-monster? By taking turns carrying her around on their shoulders all day. Thank you gentlemen, you have now ruined my daughter, 'cause who would choose to be ignominiously schlumped around in a bumpy stroller when you can be elevated above your adoring onlookers? Especially when your personal chauffeur has soft buzz-cut hair that you can rub?! I do have to admit it was terribly cute, but I'm going to have to have a serious discussion with the little miss about how she should stay in her stroller (rather than running around touching everything), and the need to remain seated while eating (instead of standing in the chair, crowing and throwing food she deems not good enough for a princess).

While at the fair she also rode a pony (she LOVED it), discovered that she likes pigs and doggies but not chickens, and managed to sleep through the demolition derby occurring about 20 ft away from her. Which makes me suspect that she is not actually sleeping when she suddenly wakes up as I'm passing outside her door during naptime - because anyone who can sleep through several cars attempting to destroy each other nearby, cannot possible be rudely awakened by footsteps on carpet.

Journal Article

2008-08-21T07:41:00.000-07:00

It's official, the article has been published. You can find it by just searching my name on PubMed, and you'll find a link to download the entire paper on the abstract page.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/

Unfortunately, it turns out there are several authors with the same name out there already - however none of them are in Microbiology so that at least cuts down on some overlap.

But that still doesn't beat the ironic/humorous fact that if you Google my name..you get a VERY popular British porn star. *sigh* I'll never be more popular than her (or get higher in the Google search results), no matter how many papers I publish.

Painting

2008-08-18T07:25:00.001-07:00

Yay! I finally got something done around the house. One day I might even actually get to host this elusive house warming party! The dining room is finally completely painted (with minimal paint smears on tiny hands and doggy fur), which means that we are one step closer to eating at a real table....in an actual chair! The only issue now is that Gilli's highchair doesn't fit at the table, so do I buy a booster seat and risk the oft-maligned new carpet below? Or trust in the speed scavenging skills of my four-legged table beggars? I'm pretty sure that Delia can catch things out of midair, and that Mel is convinced she has telekinetic powers over food, all she has to do is stare hard enough. So one room down, six to go, and classes start this Thursday *sigh.*

She was trying to help, and now I have to buy more cream cheese

2008-08-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

We went to the grocery store, 'nuff said.

How NOT to order Chinese

2008-08-04T17:34:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post while I wipe away the tears from laughing so hard at Joey:

Do not tease the poor foreign woman on the other end of the phone when she can't spell your address by saying " M - as in magnitude, I - as in igloo, L - as in longitude, F - as in fairchild......" It's never a good idea to use words that half of the semi-educated native population of this country couldn't spell/pronounce/even-flippin recognize, to explain another word the listener doesn't understand in the first place.

It's just not nice Joseph Michael! (and in all fairness, the howls of laughter in the background were not very polite either Jamie Lynn)

Does anyone remember if this was actually fun?

2008-08-04T12:35:00.000-07:00

I seem to remember a point in my life where I would have KILLED to have my birthday bash at ChuckECheese's. This was an especially appealing idea because my little sister absolutely refused to come within seventy feet of anyone wearing a large character costume, thus she wouldn't be present to ruin said party. But now I wonder if she didn't have the right idea all along. Case in point:

- Those creepy people in large character costumes. My head says that they are unfortunate employees who are paid far too little for the indignity, but I can't help but wonder who exactly is behind that furry smile and mesh eye-holes...and why do they want to hug my baby?

- The animatronic version is no better, with jerky movements choreographed to terrible music (about bellybuttons, hot sauce, and SPF no less!) - I was just waiting for its head to slowly spin around to look at me with red glowing eyes.

- All the employees have a glazed-over look in their eyes, kinda makes you wonder what it's like from their side of the counter.

- All those surfaces, do you think they're sanitized............ever?

- The person at the front door who stamps your hand with the same number as your child's - to be checked when you leave. Is this because I might steal someone else's kid, or better yet forget which one is mine? (not such an outrageous assertion given the sheer number of them running around without leashes)

- The fact that you can buy the prizes!!! They have large signs that say "1 Ticket = 1 Cent" prominently displayed where anyone with rudimentary reading skills might comprehend its oh-so-complex meaning. I know that you have always been able to pay for the prizes, but seriously?! When I was little we were told to save up our tickets until we had enough to 'buy' our dream prize ourselves. It taught responsibility, patience, and money management skills (since you also had to figure out which game was the best value for your token). And so what if the ticket price was astronomical, after a few visits your parents could always slip the cashier the difference when you weren't looking (especially effective if the child is very young). But this way, it's letting them know upfront that all the work they put in will only get them a cheap non-denominational plastic dradle, unless Mommy & Daddy cough up some cash. The larger prizes didn't even have ticket prices anymore, only $$$!

Mom, was it like this for you when I was little? Is this simply disillusionment on my part? Do I remember it with the rosy glow of childhood, or has the establishment deteriorated that much?

(On a side note - despite this wandering theorization, we did actually take Gilli and cousin Marlee to ChickECheese's the other day. They seemed to enjoy it as much as any play area they've been to, and the food was decent. We'll probably take them there again, but next time I'm thinking about paying a kid some money so I can see what the employee at the door would do when I leave with a child that's got a different number.......and so the kid can use the $$ to buy that Hanna Montana purse of course!)

(click to enlarge)

Introducing:

2008-07-31T07:35:00.000-07:00

Serving the commercial sign repair & maintenance needs of the Greater Richmond Area!
(pictures of our eyesore of a service vehicle coming soon to a blog near you)

My First Publication

2008-07-28T12:22:00.000-07:00

My first academic journal article will be published in the next edition of the Journal of Bacteriology: Regulation of the intercellular adhesin locus regulator (icaR) by SarA, sigmaB, and IcaR in Staphylococcus aureus with Dr. Jefferson (my boss) and Dr. Nuno Circa (a post-doc who has since moved on to a position back in Portugal). Admittedly I only did part of the lab work, and didn't contribute any creative ideas, but hey! you have to start from somewhere. You should be proud of me, it's still very early in my academic career to be published! The article is already available for viewing online, but I won't post the link until it is formatted and officially published. Then I can give you a real PubMed link! My own work in the lab is coming along at a more sedate pace - which translates to: I will be working on screening this mutant library until well after Christmas at this rate. It isn't until you really get hip deep in the stuff that you realize how much time it does take, and why it's no surprise that there aren't cures for everything that ails the world. But don't worry, I'll still be here chipping away at my own ail-of-the-world when the snow flies :P

Gillian Goes to Busch Gardens...and gasp..daycare

2008-07-24T11:23:00.000-07:00

We took Gilli to play at Busch Gardens, Williamsburg this weekend for the first time. It was 98 degrees outside so I was surprised that she held up as well as she did. Land of the Dragons was her first opportunity to wander absolutely wherever she pleased, and I'm sure we were a hilarious sight: one small girl-child in a big floppy hat being followed around by two anxious parents carting her paraphernalia with them. None of the other parents were closely shadowing their offspring like we were, in fact most were barricading the one possible exit and ignoring them! Tsk tsk ladies, apparently I am the only mother who realizes it IS possible that her little fiend will devise a way to get thru the 4 layers of rope to fall out of those hanging walkways. Or worse! Like getting her sweaty bum stuck in the middle of an enclosed metal slide where she can't go up or down, and no one can see her. The sad part is these are just the beginning of my horrible playground visions of disaster. And Joey thinks he's going to get her on the sky cars? NO SIRee bob, think again magic man! I do have to admit that following her around did provide one gem of a memory: she couldn't see us her behind her because of the aforementioned floppy hat, so she would walk along then suddenly stop to wiggle her bum to the music for a minute and continue on as if nothing had happened. Priceless! We even made that annoying 'awwww' noise that all parents learn how to make.

When she'd finally had enough we left to go see the Clydesdale horses, but not before stopping for a Kodak moment. Notice that Miss Gilli decided to display the talent all small children have for absolutely refusing to be as cute as they were just-a-flippin-millisecond-ago when you go to snap that perfect picture (she decided that being in a big plastic egg was truly cruel and unusual punishment).

She LOVED the horses, practically leaping out of Joe's arms in excitement. She even rode the Lil Clydesdale ride all by herself, and absolutely broke mommy's heart when she kept looking up and waving to us (on her own no less! we didn't prompt her, we were too busy taking pictures like crazy people). What is it about kids that turns an otherwise sensible person into a raving lunatic?

Well never fear! Mommy and daddy have not been utterly taken in by the wiles of this fairy princess. Yesterday was her first day at *gasp, no! say it isn't so!* daycare. Now that Joey has nearly got everything done for his company Elite Signs LLC, we are sending the rugrat to a very nice young lady named Ms. Jenny. There are several other children there her age, and I'm told Gilli is quite laid-back and quiet. HA! That won't last long. But in all seriousness, it's going to be wonderful for her to finally start socializing with other children. Now if only we can break mommy/daddy of their guilt over the decision, and Gilli's bad habit of bonking other little ones on the head in greeting.

What's the moral of this story? JAMIE WAS RIGHT!

2008-07-18T11:04:00.000-07:00

The entire time that I was pregnant I was convinced that so was a disproportionately large percentage of the female population around me. I saw more of them coming into Outback to eat (or parents with newborns) and out shopping at baby-meca/BabiesRUs. But nooo, those around me insist that I'm just taking more notice of a part of the population that I had previously been oblivious to. Nevermind that seven girls at work and several of my friends were pregnant; this wasn't the cosmos' way of stealing my thunder (no, they left that job to my sister-in-law) it was just a broadening of my perspective. After Gillian was born I continued to have a suspicious little voice muttering in the back of my mind, although my internal soundtrack of "I'm a Little TeaPot/ToysRUs Kid" kept drowning it out. Why were stores always sold out of clothes in her size range? Why did so many of my new friends have rugrats themselves? Aside from the pleasant side effects of numerous play group options for Gilli, and a wealth of gently used baby clothes at consignment stores, I just had to wonder. Had I started a trend?
Well I got my answer today! No mom, it's not just that all of my friends and people around me have reached an age where they start exponentially reproducing, I was RIGHT! Everyone around me WAS pregnant, and now I'm worrying about what is going to happen to my daughter when they all apply to college at the same time.

Record number of babies born last year

WASHINGTON - More babies were born in the United States last year than ever before, according to preliminary data, but it's not another baby boom just yet.

About 4,315,000 children were born in 2007, about 15,000 more births than the peak time of the baby boom in 1957, said Stephanie Ventura, a demographer at the National Center for Health Statistics, which compiled the data from provisional birth certificate registrations at state health departments.

"According to our provisional data, we had the highest number of births ever reported in 2007," she said.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25735103

I'm sorry if this is a strange post, but HA! What the name of this game? "I win"

When it suddenly goes very quiet in the house

2008-07-10T09:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I'm just not up to being an active participant in Gillian's play, so on those bad-mommy days I just put up the baby gate and sit to read while she proceeds to run around me ripping the house to shreds (showing me her accomplishments every few minutes...'yes honey, mommy loves it when you try to tell me that dog food really is nutritious and delicious').
But every once in a while the house goes ominously quiet, and not in the good she-curled-up-to-take-a-nap kind of way.No, it's the omg-my-child-is-eating-dish-soap-and-what-is-that-in-your-HAND!? kind of way that happens only when they have found something so very interesting/naughty that they instinctively become quiet sneaky little bogarts. This exact scenario happened at our house just the other day. My reaction is to silently explore the quarantined area so that I can catch the little rascal red-handed. This time, as I expected she had completely destroyed the play area that I futilely insist on organizing, but I did not expect to see what she was doing:

(sometimes you can hardly handle the cuteness, for some reason I think we're doing ok so far with this one :)

Um yeah....

2008-06-19T13:40:00.000-07:00

So we finally got it figured out so I can write on this thing too. Well hello everyone! *waves* Ok what have I been up to hmm...

Unpacking.... it's all her stuff *sighs*
Baby wrangling..... where'd she go now??!! *looks around frantically*
Working..... my money tree just won't grow
Starting a new business.... look at my tree problem

And on top of it all Jamie wants me to take some summer classes, but the courses look weird to me.

Summer Classes for Men at
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, August 17th 2008
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby
Bathtub? -- Group Practice
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The
Floor -- Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your
Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While
Screaming
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her
Flowers Is Not
Harmful To Your Health
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday,
Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and
role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates
and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full
Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM,
location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Party Update

2008-06-19T13:08:00.000-07:00

Apparently houses shrink in the sun and boxes procreate when you're not looking (what are those naughty boxes doing on my new carpet!?). I say this because after a few weeks in our new house during an intense heat wave, it's gotten smaller than I remember, and there are still moving boxes everywhere. Note to all my friends with small children: do not under any circumstances considering moving if it will take you less than 24 hrs to unpack. Rugrats view all those boxes as toy boxes full of surprises that mommy and daddy brought home just for them, and some are even still gift wrapped as a challenge. Don't worry! They WILL get the taped ones open, and they WILL learn how to climb that ladder sitting in the corner so that one day they can give mommy a heart attack when she turns a corner to find herself eye-to-eye with a child who is terribly pleased with the view they've discovered (seriously, she was laughing so hard she nearly fell off). But to actually get to the point of this post, we haven't unpacked our clothes so we can stop wearing the same things repeatedly, let alone worked on putting the house together so we can show it off at a party. Thus, I think it is going to be pushed back to August, probably on a Friday night. So let me know if there are any major conflicts for you, and if you rate high enough on the give-a-hoot scale we'll see what can be done ;P jk

Happy Birthday Mom!

2008-06-19T12:44:00.001-07:00

Today was my mom's 30th Birthday (ummm, yeah that sounds about right :) so we took her out to the Tobacco Co. Mom informed me after I'd made the reservations that this was the restaurant where she told my dad that she was expecting me. I can't decide if its kinda weird or cool, but either way I guess I can say that I've been there before. It was my Nana's idea to go out for lunch, but she couldn't be there, so we left a chair empty for her...the wait staff looked at me awful funny when I put out the single name card. But hey, what do you expect from a crazy redhead? (click picture to enlarge)

Jamie's Summer Course

2008-06-05T09:38:00.000-07:00

<--- (click to enlarge)

I have to take a summer course, how awesome is this! (it's really Bioterrorism and Public Health, but this is what THEY are calling it)....it's actually extremely interesting but depressing at the same time. They keep telling us how unprepared Virginia is for a true crisis event/natural disaster. The message so far is pretty much that we should all live in remote cabins with food stores, and not count on help from anyone. What a way to inspire potential employees!

Please tell me that potty training isn't this messy

2008-05-29T15:58:00.000-07:00

Since she pretty much does everything else all by herself (*sob) I decided to let Gillian try to feed herself with a spoon. She's almost 14 months old now, fairly well coordinated, and Daddy wasn't home to fuss if she did make a mess on the brand new carpet. So what the heck, I gave her the spoon and ducked for cover. She (and the dogs waiting joyously below the highchair) thoroughly enjoyed the experience, and I learned just how frickin far food could really fly. She actually got some on the ceiling..9 feet up! Now I just have to go find a ladder and clean it up before Daddy gets home....

Party!!

2008-05-15T10:26:00.000-07:00

House warming party! (Tentative Dates: July 12 or 13)
We've decided to throw a party to show off our new house and all the work we'll be putting into it. It's probably going to be from 2-9pm so people can come and go as they please, so I need some input on what day of the week it should be. There'll be food and pictures of the house as we bought it, as well as drinks and music in the evening (think anyone will actually dance?). I'll post before and after pictures here once we unveil our masterpiece to the public :) Keep in mind that this is our first house of our own to decorate, so if you don't like what we've done with the place just smile and nod, I can live with the lie!