Embarassment

Yesterday I inadvertently figured out how to embarrass my dad. For those who know him, this feat is a marvel and all the more amusing because it was accomplished on his turf. While exploring our local massive outdoor flea market searching for unique finds among the garbage/hispanic novelty items/imported knock-offs/old stuff, I found a few intriguing items. Most sellers had piles of stuff all over their tables, in boxes, and scattered on the ground that buyers could dig through (kind of like a dirty treasure hunt). In the bottom of one of the boxes I spotted what looked like an upside down white enameled metal bowl of some sort - I pulled out one of these:

I struck gold again at the same booth just a few minutes later with what looked like a pretty white flower pot. This time however I had a tiny little voice in the back of my mind saying "Girl, you know what that thing really is," while another voice responded "Yes, but wouldn't it look nice filled with flowers or potpourri!" The aforementioned paternal mortification resulted from my rather loud query of "Can anyone tell me what exactly this is?" It was at this point that all of the old men around me stopped and stared. Let me give you a clearer picture of this scenario: I (a 20-something respectably dressed young lady) am standing behind an old diesel truck that has disgorged it diverse contents (likely accumulated from several estate sales) onto tables and the ground around me. The display is manned by four slightly smelly dirty old men, all of whom are wearing at least one item of camouflage clothing. I am asking this innocent-sounding question while pointing at one of these:










The loud silence combined with a nervous chuckle and "Aww man, y'all gonna make me answer that?" from the gentleman standing next to me, confirmed my worst suspician. "Oooh, so that is a chamber pot then! I though so, but just wanted to be sure......I need to go wash my hands now" said I. The best part comes however when we had walked away and my dad says something like "I can't believe you actually asked that!!!" I would like to say that he was not entirely thrilled by how amusing I found his feelings to be.

However, the story does not end there. In an impressive attempt, I managed to go 3-for-3. At another booth I spotted what looked like a melted old milk bottle, and again asked what it was. This time the seller didn't even bother to answer - the ancient old man just gave me a look while my dad covers his face and walks away, exclaiming "UGH, Jamie, not again!!" Unfortunately this time it took me a little while to catch on, although I'm still not sure why a urinal really needs to have ounce measurements marked on the side:











I think the entire situation was hilarious, HE thinks I should have been embarrassed right along with him. Nope, not going to happen, I refuse to be embarrassed for asking silly questions - I like being able to laugh at myself, it keeps things not-so-serious in Jamie-land. And besides, they were cool looking, maybe I should go back and buy them. Wouldn't it be a great conversation starter at my next dinner party to have a urinal, chamber pot, and bed pan displayed on a shelf together? Just imagine:

Guest: "Oh my, Jamie you have quite the collection."
Me: "Yes, I know, you wouldn't believe how difficult it was to track down these family heirlooms. The fact that my great-great grandparents spent so much time with these personal items makes them infinitely more special for us. Would you like to hold one?"

Full Moon

This video definitely falls under the category of "funny enough now to keep around and embarrass her with later." We were out having a late dinner on our quick road trip to IKEA last night when we noticed that there was a full moon occurring at our table. Lil miss had pulled her pants down and was wiggling her butt. Thankfully we were in a deserted section of the restaurant, not because of her partial nudity, but because we would have really disturbed others with our cackles of amusement. The hilarity results from what she was saying to Daddy while rubbing her bum against his arm...here's the only clip I could manage to get once we restored our table's G rating.

(you might have to turn your volume all the way up to hear what she's saying)

Can You Spot The Mouse?

Guess what! We're soooo excited to announce that we have finally succumbed to the marketing schemes of one the largest and most entrenched American business machines of today. Yay for us!! No really, we actually are excited, because we're going to Disney World for spring break this year :) Joe, Mom, and I all intend to participate in the "Give A Day, Get A Day" promotion that is occurring next year. Disney is offering one free day of park admission in exchange for a day of volunteer service with any participating organization. I think this is an awesome opportunity on to get involved in some local charity work (please remember that I am a proud alumni of Gamma Sigma Sigma, a sorority dedicated to service) and save some serious $$ when we go to Disney World. Additionally, Gillian will be about two and half weeks shy of her third birthday, so she'll still be a bit young for the experience by my reckoning, but at least everything for her will be free.

How do we know that she is old enough to really enjoy herself and that it isn't a waste of time that she won't remember? Well, aside from her obvious Disney princess fever/brain washing...which has been marketed so relentless to little girls nowadays (I swear we've been pointlessly trying to prevent it)....there was one particularly illuminating event. While driving one evening, I hear a shriek of excitement from the backseat, closely followed by a barely coherent round of finger-pointing, screeches of "Mickey, Mickey!!", and all of the squirming and bouncing a child safety device's restraints will permit. After quickly scanning the cars around us looking for bumper sticker or visible toy, I spotted the mouse..can you?


Believe it or not, it's actually MUCH easier to spot Mickey in this picture than it was that day. I still can't believe that she saw it from her car seat. I think she's ready.

Oh, and she'd better remember it, if only through pictures, because we'll be snapping those away like lunatics and someone will have a camcorder attached to their face. Hey, we're just trying to blend in.

I know, I know....we've been neglecting the blog. *Hugs* to all of the far away friends and family who've been pestering us about it :P

Trendsetter

I'd like to think that a fashion scout for Walmart just happened to spot us Trick-or-Treating last year, and thought "Eureka!"

Toilet Seat Discussion..Revisted

Please disregard the previous post.

Joe will no longer be gloating that he has won the toilet seat up/down battle. He has in fact, lost that fight.

You see......he left the seat up this morning. And unfortunately, the little two-year old trying her hardest to be a good girl and go in the big girl potty all by herself, didn't get the memo about looking behind her before she backed up. Poor thing was soaked up to her armpits!

What mommy can't accomplish, daddy's little princess sure as heck can.

The toilet seat stays down! Score one for the ladies!

One for the Good Guys

It's me again *waves* with another one of my class portfolio writings that my wife finds amusing.



Gentleman your attention please! What I am about to tell you is a first, and must be told to all men. So listen closely and spread the Word. I have won the toilet seat argument with my wife. I know… take all the time you need. Yes it’s true I won the argument through logic and I am going to tell you how you can take this victory home with you as well. My logic is this: I have to put the toilet seat up everytime it needs to go up. So I am doing all of the work putting it up. She only puts it down. Sounds fair yeah… but there are times when I must put it down as well so I am doing part of the work to put it down too. Therefore, I am doing all of the up work and some of the down work, and she is only doing some of the down work. Doesn’t sound fair anymore. If we are to have an equal amount of work in this, toilet seat movements or marriage, then she needs to handle the down work without complaining all the time. And if you get yelled at about her “falling in” ask her “You look behind you when you back up in a car don’t you? Why the Hell wouldn’t you look behind you with your pants around your ankles?” Just don’t expect her to be enthusiastic about your reasoning, or to openly acknowledge that you’re right – that’s a whole different battle.