Thursday, June 4, 2009

More Than We Baragined For

**Warning, if you're easily offended read no further. If however, you'd find an extensive list of English colloquialisms for the human mammary glands to be entertaining, then by all means read on...**

It is a testament to Joe's training as a husband that it took me making a comment for him to even notice. After a few hours of exploring the Carnival Imagination on our recent cruise I said something like "Well this is just entirely inappropriate!" Which of course got a "Huh?" from Joe, who promptly began looking around for something inappropriate (like an 4 year old wearing a string bikini). Since he obviously had no idea what I was talking about, I pointed to the sphinx statues that adorned ALL of the decorative columns on every floor of the ship. "They didn't need to include anatomically correct boobies on them! They even have nipples, and they're at eye-level. How would I explain to Nana that I'd poked out my eye on a statue's bazoombas?!" Sure enough everywhere we went inside the ship, and I do mean everywhere, there were impressive sets of gold chesticles staring back at us. We stopped counting at 73. I wanted to blind fold Gillian and complain to customer service that they should warn people that this is an X-rated boat. Just imagine if you had an adolescent son and you brought him on this ship! That many ever-present knockers would be sure to cause trouble. Heck, traveling with a grown man was challenge enough - I'm proud of my hubby for limiting his cha-cha jokes to just a handful, and even resisting the temptation to fondle the gazongas for a photo that I'm sure would have been priceless for years to come (sadly many other men did not restrain themselves thusly). The really sad part is that even a married mother can be reduced to crude potty humor when she has had one too many fruity drinks and there are that many hooters staring at her....that's one picture you'll never see, lol!!

So consider yourself forewarned: generous yahoos aplenty!

Oh and one more thing.......the absolute worst part is that, upon closer examination..all of the statues' had the gold paint rubbed off of the nipples! *shudder*

Now, if you're curious to see what I'm talking about, go here http://www.flickr.com/photos/ilovecoffeeyesido/2414757070/ to look at a picture someone else took...cuz I just couldn't bring myself to be seen in public taking a picture of a statue's ta-tas.

Other entertaining synonyms not included in this post: rack, ninnies, melons, titties, hood ornaments, funbags, bosoms, badoinkies, goombas, flapdoodles, jahoobies, magambos, dinglebobbers, ...and of course breasts

1 comment:

Vamplaiken said...

That is one of the funniest things I have read in awhile. I was in my summer class while I was reading it and I could not help laughing out loud. I sure did get some strange looks but that made it even funnier.